Pearls of Wisdom: Loving Others

Loving Others

It recently occurred to me that all the inspiring quotes I jot down in the plethora of little notebooks I carry around with me might also serve as inspiration for y’all. (If you know me well, you know I adore little notebooks.)  I gather them up from all sorts of places – podcasts, audiobooks, books, tv, blog posts, the Good Book… and when something really hits home and rings true, I try to write it down.  Lately, I’ve come across quote a few really good ones, so I thought it might be nice to share them here for a little dose of positivity.  We could all use it on a Friday!

loving others - brine brown | oysters and pearls

I recently finished reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown, which we sell at Maiden South through our partnership with our friends at The Bookshelf in Thomasville.  Although I haven’t recently been going through tough times, I always think the first of the year is a great time for some deep self-reflection and self-evaluation and an excellent way to gain some perspective and grow in the year.

From Good Reads:

The physics of vulnerability is simple: If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall. The author of the #1 New York Timesbestsellers Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection tells us what it takes to get back up, and how owning our stories of disappointment, failure, and heartbreak gives us the power to write a daring new ending. Struggle, Brené Brown writes, can be our greatest call to courage, and rising strong our clearest path to deeper meaning, wisdom, and hope. 

One of the sentiments from Rising Strong that struck me hardest was the quote above.  Brene asks: “What if everyone around you is really, truly doing their very best?  How does that change how you approach situations and treat those people?”  Thinking that the people who often frustrate you the most are really doing their best shifts the attitude you have toward them and toward yourself.  On the flip side, she argues that we shouldn’t just accept that people are doing their best and then put up with being disrespected, mistreated, or anything else that is unacceptable.  However, we shouldn’t expect people to be more than who they are.

Brene quotes Anne Lamott when she says that “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.”

This rings so true when you apply it to relationships, to job positions… really anything.  Expecting people to do something without communicating that expectation results in disappointment when people fail to live up to your expectations, which in close relationships, simmers until it becomes a resentment.  I always boil this down to when I expect Wheat to help me in the kitchen, or help me unload the car, or whatever.  When I start to feel myself getting annoyed, I try to think, “If I lived alone, would I expect anyone to help me do this? No. He probably doesn’t even know that I pulled into the carport just now.”  Expecting him to a) know I got home, b) not have his hands full with something else, and c) drop everything to help me unload my bags from the car is a lot of uncommunicated expectation to place upon his shoulders.

Not to say I’m not guilty of doing that anyway…. but the point is I’m trying.  And that’s all we can do, right?

#deepthoughts on this Friday morning, but positive ones that carry into your weekends, I hope.  Love one another, y’all!  It’s Valentine’s Day weekend!!

Until Next Time - oysters and pearls

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